It's so over! But TV/broadband providers are clingy

“I want to break up with you.”

"Oh no! What went wrong?”

“After a six month honeymoon our relationship went sour. You became 50% more demanding and gave nothing in return.”

“What can I do to put this right? Let's see... I'll give you a bit more than I did before but not as much as I used to or someone else would in a new relationship.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m banking on the fact that it will be hassle for you to break up with me so I am not prepared to make a full effort.”

“Well I’m afraid that’s not good enough. I’m off.”

“Really? But why? Why can’t you accept my offer?”

“I am sorry. It’s time to move on.”

That’s the basic gist of a conversation I had with the first Virgin representative I tried to cancel my account.

It didn’t even end there….I was passed on to others who expressed utter dismay at the prospect of my iminent departure and made me explain over again why I was leaving with long gaps waiting for responses.

When I finally got  through to them that it was over….they said they couldn’t process the “break up” themselves.

That was another department – who would ring me back. Only they didn’t – at least not for ten days.

We all know the drill when it comes to tv, phone and broadband contracts, or as the comparison websites like to call them ‘triple play’ deals.

They offer you a great deal but only for six months to a year – but then they clobber you with a much dearer rate.

Our first rate was €60 which went up to over €90 after the honeymoon period was up as it does with all providers.

Of course you can always switch when your (usually) 12 month contract is up and continue to benefit from the sweetheart deal for  cheap tv and broadband.

Most people don’t bother but if you do it will be well worthwhile as you will practically halve your ‘triple play’ bill.

So that’s why I tried to switch. Our bill had gone up from €60 a month to over €90 after the honeymoon period was over and I could be paying as little €45.

The first Virgin rep offered to give me two options. The best one was for €69 a month for 9 months followed by €84 a month for the rest of the year of the contract.

That works out at €73 a month.

The cheapest triple play deal around at the moment is Vodafone, which works out at €47.50 a month.

What Virgin offered (€73) was almost exactly between the €90 a month I was paying them – and the cheapest

They had split the difference!

That’s how it works.

You can do nothing, stay with the same provider and pay €90 a month for triple play.

You can kick up a bit of a fuss,threaten to leave and be offered a deal of around €73 a month.

Or you can actually leave and get you TV, broadband and phone and pay €45 a month for a year – before the whole rigmarole starts over again.

When Virgin eventually did ring back yesterday (after I had contacted them as a journalist to get their side of the story) they offered a slightly better deal than the last time.

Broadband would upgrade from a meagre 30Mb to a mighty 500Mb ( I think this would have happened anyway), the phone package would include free landline and mobile calls to 22 countries and there would a further slight reduction in the monthly payment to an average of €67 a month.

That’s a lot better than before but still dearer than Vodafone’s €45 a month.

But Vodafone is an untried platform. I actually operate this account on behalf of my parents who were not keen on changing TV system - so they decided to stick with Virgin after all - even if they are a bit clingy when you try to break up with them!

When I contacted  Virgin Media as a journalist about my difficulties in cancelling a contract as a consumer, they were very  apologetic. A spokesman said: “Following on from your interaction via the webchat channel on August 21st, where a follow on call from a Virgin Media team member was agreed within 24/48 hours, an error occurred which resulted in the call not proceeding as planned. We’re sorry for this inconvenience.” “In a normal course, all a costumer would need to do is to contact us on 1908 or via one of our online channels and their inquiries are resolved as quick as possible,” he said. “While we appreciate your experience hasn’t been seamless on this occasion, this wouldn’t normally be the case as we always try to resolve all customer issues to complete satisfaction.”

I also asked telecoms watchdog Comreg what happens if your provider seems to make it hard to cancel a TV/broadband service.

A spokesman referred me to their complaints procedure. “On 1 January, 2018, ComReg introduced a Complaints Handling Code of Practice for Electronic Communications Service Providers,” he said. This ensures “greater transparency, certainty and quality in Service Providers’ complaints handling procedures and will result in improved redress for consumers with complaints.”

It can be accessed at the watchdog’s website - Comreg.ie